(Huh, never thought I'd actually have to FIGHT memes. You know, except the stuff of the Anti-Omni variety.)
(Whatever, even if Weegee somehow gets out, I have plenty of Reverse Cards and mirrors to stop him with.)
How may I be of service?
Put this in a package and deliver it to "14156 Nowheresville".
Processing...
14156 Nowheresville found. Storing item.
Now then, I believe I have somewhere to be.
So...he's got another robot in his hands.
Another one who's probably going to be reduced to trash by the world's most foolish distraction.
*whirrr*
Hold on now. Let's see what the other one's been doing.
CHANGING FOCUS.
Thank you.
...and of course he's being a meathead as usual.
Seriously, making an album? Showing his genitalia on live television? Using a carpet made by a washed-up comedian as a blanket for a demon?!
I'm sick of this. Here I thought they'd actually be making moves against each other, and all they're doing is getting tied up in their own stupidity.
Gather, team.
We're going to show this world the power of true Badniks.
The Great King K. Rool, leader of the-
Why, the Kongs, of course!
Alright, alright... Bring 'em in, boys!
...I see.
WHAT!? What kind of low-class business are you trying to run here, anyways!?
Well, I have a brother... I once ordered him to destroy DK Island, but I ended up locking him away when he refused. The Kongs freed him, and all the while he opened up the locations of which I-
...
...I'll be right back.
Alright, listen here, you fleshbag! My ship was destroyed in a massive, apocalyptic explosion that everyone only survived because of who knows what! I cannot be a Kaptain without a ship to sail, and you will either give it to me, or I'm taking that head of yours off your shoulders!
Oh ho ho... Ladies and gentlekremlings, I bring you... The Gangplank Galleon II!
Ah... Isn't she a beaut? Why have I ever wanted my old ship back from that Tepid guy when this baby was worth every cost!
Uh, but boss? We didn't pay nothin'. You robbed the place mere seconds ago.
...Like I said, Klump. Every. Cost.
Now, enough talk... It's time to set our course!
Uh, sure, boss... But to where?
Why, where else, Krusha? To DK Island, of course!
...can we get the waiter to change the channel to something better?
Shush. This is a classic.
They've said "No, Yoshi" like 6 or 7 times by now. What value is there?
Volt Man, this is from 2007, and that was already a great year for cinema. But this one has stood the test of time, so shut it.
Dyna, do you have any idea if "hidden middle finger" means someth-
...Dyna?
...hm?
*BUZZZZZ*
Dyna Man, what the fresh high water are you doing?!
That dirty little crocodile! It stole my last pizza slice!
Why did you go outside without telling-
Wait...crocodile?
Yeah! It was a scrawny looking green one! It just grabbed my slice and ran off onto a pirate ship!
...where was it heading?
Well, I heard someone yelling something about DK Island.
Wait...
Soldiers, resume combat mode! Incoming attacks from above and inside!
*VRRRT*
(So. What now?)
(B͜etray Lo͢rd͏ ͘Hade̡ş.̵..͞Y̢o̷u̶ ̀ar͠e̢.̛.̛own.̸..̡p̀e̸r̶s̶o̧n̵.)
Oh, yeah? How do I know that this isn't some ruse from you? You're the reason why a lot of my Stat Boost powers don't work anymore.
(P̨̧͝o̷͞w̢e͢͟r̴͡s̡.̴҉.̕. wó̵r̢k. ͏N̢͜e̶͝eḑ͢.́.̛͜ ̵̛͢t̢́he en̶͡e̵̢r̴̀gy҉͘͘.̷̷ ͜M͟͟u̸s̶̶ţ̧̕ ͝҉͟s͏̷u̷͘s̡t͞a̛i͟͡n͏̨.̷̨̛.̡́.̨͝ ́͘s̨el̶҉͟f̶̧͘.́҉͏)
Look, just tell me what you are. Maybe then I'll start to trust you.
(A͞m͘.̶͡..́͞͠A͞ń͘t͠͝i͟͏..̴̨O̵m̡͟ni ̡͘͠ȩ̢n̨e͝͏̴r̨͜g̡͟ỳ͞.̶͘ C̸̢r̴̡̕a̷͜c̀҉ḱ͢.̛͘͘.͘͠.̨w̡̧a̢s̴ń͠'̛͏͢t ͟͜o͘͝n̸͞l͝y t͘͢h̛i̷̢ng͜.҉͠.̨͠. ̛͜g̡̕͏i͟v̷̨͠eņ̛ ̵̴to̴̕ ͞ý̸o̷̢͝ú̸.̵)
(L-͢l͏͝ò͟r̡d̴̢̀ ̷͜͞H̨͠ád̨ȩ͟s̵͞҉.̡̕͟..̛͞ y̡͞o̵͡͠u҉̵͞ ̢͢ć̷̕a̸̧n̶̷ ̶̵n̢ơ̷̡t ̡̀t̕̕r̡͠ù̵̕s̶t̶̨͟ ̢́h̸̢i͠m͝͏̴.̧̕͜ ͘H̵e͏̧͘ ̴͠h̸͜íd́͟ès̨̡ t̶́͞h̨͟͠i̴̸͝n̶ǵs.͞.͠҉.͢ ̢͞v̸͡e͏͟͝r҉͡ỳ.̸͢.̢. ͢͢h̷o͡r͟r͘i̵̡b̷le̶.̵̶. ̷̴̡t̷͠h̛҉̡i̵̧n҉g̀ş͘.̵̀͞)
Okay, but if you're Anti-Omni energy, doesn't that make you evil?
(N̵̨͠o̕͜t.́҉́..͟in͡h̨͢e̡͜͢r͏̵͢ȩń͝t̕͏̵l̸͟͢y̢͏̛.͠)
(G͠i͘͘͞v̴̕͝e̵͜ ̸̷m̡e.̕.̴́.̴̶e̴̕͜ner̀́͢g̸̨̕y̢̡.̡ A̷̢͡ņ͏͏d͘͘͠ ̴̢͢Į͢ ̡w̕͠į̴̴l̨l̸͏̡ h̷̵e̕l̢͢p̴ ̷y̕o̧u̴͜҉.̷̧ ̧̀O̵͝pen͘.̴̢́..͢.̶ ͜e̵y͠e̷̴s̶͝ à̶r͘͟ou͘͡͝n̕d t͜͜͏h͏e҉͞ ̨͠w̛͜o̵͜rl̀d̷.̴͜͝ ͜T͘h͞i̶͢n̕g̵s̸̵͝ y̶͏̀o̕͝͡u̕ ̵̕ḑ̧ǫ̕͢ņ̕'̸͟t ̵̡̀kn̵oẁ.̀͟.̶̶.̨͜ Ì cą̀n̕ ̨s̀h҉ò͘w͟ ̧̕y͝o̧͜͜u.͟.̕.͝ ͢͜a̷n͜d͠͞҉ ̢͏m̴a̴ķ̧̛e͞ ̀you̷͞ ́҉e̸vę͘͜n ̢s͡t̷͠r̸̢o̧n͞g̨̕e͜r̨̀.́̕...͘)
.....
Hey, guys! What's up?
Diddy, there's a giant pirate ship heading toward the island!
...wait, what?!
*WHIRRRR*
Attention, inhabitants of DK Island! I know it's been a long while, but I am here at last with a brand NEW scheme to make you bothersome primates fall to my heels!
And don't think for a second that you shall achieve victory... Not only is my new ship packed with high-tech weaponry- And I really do mean High-Tech- but it's not the ONLY new trick up my sleeves!
So, listen well, Kongs: You have but ONE chance to surrender, or face the wrath of my new recruit!
In your dreams, K. Rool!
His dreams? Hah! You're giving him too much credit!
*poing*
...
(I mean, it's not like I was doing anything to hide who I am. That's reserved for Baron.)
Luckily for me, that's not what I'm after... Not that it matters. You've made your choice.
Kahtos! Come forth and crush these fools!
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