Volt, run!!
Don't worry, I've got a plan!
Hmm.
(Slooooooooow and steady wins the race. Sloooooooooooow and steady wins the race. Sloo-)
*belligerent snoring noises*
(Damn it Big Eye, stop whining and attack already!)
Better? I probably am in some fields, but I definitely couldn't break my body up into particles like that.
No, the reason I'm here is to dispute your claim that you're the fastest robot ever built.
And what better way to do so than with a race? No teleportation, no spacetime manipulation, no fighting, nothing but pure speed. Also, if you win against me, you'll get the title of fastest entity in the Omniverse, as well as the responsibility of protecting it.
You go ahead and pick the route.
Think you're so clever, huh? Well, how about THIS?
As for you, Volt... I have a special delivery just for you!
...Here's the thing, Pronto. Speed is only one thing.
If you want to get anywhere in life... You need the power to match. So, you know what? You can keep your title of fastest in the Omniverse for as long as you live... Because for coming into MY turf...
...You only have so little of it left.
Sorry, but I can't let you drone on for much longer!
MAYDAY! MAYDAY!
*In a daze* Uuuuugh...
H-hey, Sarge! I, uh... Uh... Please go easy on me.
...If I was your world's Sergeant Man, maybe I would've considered it.
That's 2 down. 3 to go.
Well, we know what abilities affect Distortion Man:
But if someone found out before they found him, couldn't he find a way to avoid it now?
Certainly. But the sooner we take him on, the less time he'll have to boost his defenses.
Now when did I ever imply I don't have any power?
Since you seem to really want to get your arse handed to you in more than one way, I'll be happy to humor you.
Apparently, you didn't catch what I was trying to say. I don't want to just prove myself to be better. I also want you DEAD.
Well, you guys go do that. I'm going to head for Photon Man. Best of luck to you all.
...Well, Surge, I've got good news for you. I managed to fix the problem... Now people can't even barge in here through means of teleportation.
Good. What exactly was the problem with that barrier, anyways?
Well, simply put, it uses Void magic... A kind of power that is hard to use when outside of the Void. So, my solution was simply to replace that electrical generator you've been using to power it with a generator powered by Alpha Stones. It's not quite as effective as just using it in the Void, but it is effective enough to work as intended.
That's great to hear... Now, there is something else you can do for me.
Oh? I thought you said I'd be leaving? Hm, but, alright. What exactly is it do you wish for me to-
...You can accompany Jazz in the dungeon. You know the drill, Elec'n... Take this vile vermin away.
...Taking over the world is one thing... But capturing villainous scumbags like him is absolutely vindicating.
I see we're after the same thing.
I know we may have started off on the wrong foot, but that was a long time ago in a past that no longer exists. I think it's about time us alternates from Universe 3, Tomline 2 of the Absurd Roleplay to work together on this.
Ah, I see you Aeons are up and about again. Good timing, too... Now, lets not waste any more time.
Ah, so you have arrived... Right on time. I was just finishing up with my newest weapon...
Laser!
Distortion Man was helping me out with selecting its first target... My personal aim with this thing is to eliminate all of those corporate schmucks who pretend to care about anything other than money. For example...
This guy in particular thinks he's got the whole world fooled... He thinks he can get away with all the destruction he's done in the past. Jokes on you, though... Us All-Star Numbers know exactly who you are. And it's about time we wipe your ugly mug off the face of the Omniverse...
Perfect. Now, to find the HQ of Disney...
Well, looks like it's time for us to go take on Distortion Man!
All right, keep your eyes peeled, you two. There's no telling what Distortion Man has prepared ahead of...
...time?
That medallion is ours, Brando!
Dyna Man, Drone Man's dead.
Sloooooooooo-
.......
Whoever thought it would be wise to seek my attention by putting me an afternoon's worth of time behind schedule.You have not only my attention. But my wrath.
Okay, what if we fight for Distortion Man's medallion instead?
What if we stop beating each other up and actually be at least SOMEwhat prepared for Distortion Man?!
You're no fun.
None of this is fun, Dyna Man. That's why it's called-
If you finish that sentence I'm going to remind you what two types actually hurt you. 
...You're the back-up, I'm guessing... There's quite a lot of you, those two in hiding included.
Yes. You two, who are doing the whole "metal crunching" thing. Don't think for a second I didn't see you two.
(Honestly, this many people to help me... What kind of amateur do those two think I am? I'd only need, like, those two Pokemon to help. This is obviously overkill.)
Well, if we're after the same person, I suppose it can't be helped. Let's kick some time-controlling
.
What do you know, Distortion Man actually sent out some minions. Didn't think any one of these guys would even do that.
zzzzzzzzzzzz
........Wat.
DID YOU PRESUME THAT BECAUSE YOU DEMOLISHED MY FORTRESS THAT I WOULD KEEL OVER AND WEEP!? YOU HAVE SIMULTANEOUSLY ENDED YOUR LIFE AND VERIFIED YOUR DEATH AS A MOST AGONIZING ONE!!
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