...R...Right... W-well, you clearly won't find anything fun here, s-so... Feel free to leave whenever you like! Like, uh... Right now... Or whenever.
MESSAGE FROM UPSILON NARRATOR.
...No. Just... Just no.
MESSAGE CONCLUDED.
...Who was that? Actually, no, doesn't matter. I apparently need to relocate, anyways.
Pack it up, Classic. We're out of here.
Alright, which one of you snot-snortin' lackeys here have decided to get the poundin' of their lifetimes?
...Wh--what was that about being smooth, Wario?
Shut... *cough* ...up. L-lucky shot...
We can assure you that the both of your backs being up against the wall are in no way factored by luck.
Prepare for trouble, in the form of four!
You've meddled too far, and now you'll be floored!
Mysterious as the night, and sharper than fangs...
Your next foes will be...


...The Hammer Gang!
...Corny.
Alright... What're your deals?
You all have been a thorn in his majesty Bowser's side for far too long to tolerate! We're here to end this little uprising of you two before you get anywhere else!
Cute. And what makes you three different from any other of the regular fodder?
*scoff* As different as it takes to beat lowlife thieves such as yourselves.
Ugh, again with the Nintendo progaganda!? It's all lies, I tell you!
Trust us, tubby, we've done our fair share of research. 'sides... what are you gonna do, steal all the Hammers we throw?
Depends. How much are they worth?
ENOUGH!
Hah! How d'ya--
...Hmmm.
Wario... these guys really aren't playing.
Well, we'll just have to slap them silly until they run home to their mommy!
...While we're on the subject, it's not too late to start running! We might even give you a ten-second head start!
Hah! It's just as he said. You're too blindsided by your hubris to see where you story ends! His callousness will reward us handsomely for bringing you in.
Whether it be alive... or dead. This will be the end of the line for your adventure!
*sigh* I'll go find her...
Don't mind if I do!
Hm? And what are you doing here?
I appreciate the help, R.O.B.. You know more about this than I thought...
... (Actually, Meta Knight, you might know more about Dark Matter than you think you do.)
Hm?
... (You've faced Dark Nebula before, have you not?)
I did try to keep its power out of the wrong hands not too long ago.
... (It's not proven, but theories state Dark Nebula may very well share a source with Dark Matter.)
... (Now that I think about it, that heart in the Blackreach Forest tower...)
... (...it may have been connected to something above even Dark Matter's source. Something that your entire galaxy faced even more recently than Dark Nebula.)
PETTER!!
Wait, what the-
Guys, we've got help!
Tally ho!
DON'T LET 'EM ESCAPE!
Sugh much fuh takhticul retreaaat...
LOOK OUT!
So, uh... Nice weather we're having, huh?
...How long have I been standing here again?
That must be Master Waluigi!
Where are you two? Are the both of you okay?
Well, better progress than I expected. You two hang in there, we'll send help--
But--
Ughh.
We'll humor them. But if it ever slips by that they are for whatever reason in mortal danger, help will be mandatory.
...What the?
...is ... 'zat all you've got?
Trust me, that's not even the worst of what we have to off--
...Hmph. Serves him right.
This is the end of the line for you, lanky!
...You all have no idea what history lies behind that name.
Come on, come on! Gimme your best shot!
Why, you--!
What the hell!?
Now it's my turn!
Wahah! Who else wants a piece of the ol' One Two Waluigi?
(Damn! How'd he take Aqua out so fast? I'd better watch out for those legs of his.)
Perfect timing, eh?
You mean you were going to let me get beat to a pulp just for the opportunity to get the drop on them?
Hey, whatever works, works, alright?
MUDA-MUDA-MUDA-MUDA-MUDA! Hes trying to crush them with the Bounce Ball! Ninten: Crap... what can we do?!
I don't know if this will work... but it's what ever I could do!]{n}
Ra... do...... F O O S !]{n}
Mommy!
7602 Comments