Let me go! We're gonna die!
Everyone dies.
...
HELLO. YES. I AM A CHORDROID. I AM CALLING TO CLEAR UP ANY DOUBTS ABOUT OUR PURPOSE, WHICH HAS ALWAYS BEEN, IS AND ALWAYS WILL BE TO PROTECT INNOCENT LIVES DURING GREAT CRISES. YOU MAY REMEMBER US FROM THE DEAD ZONE INCIDENT A WHILE AGO.
SEEING AS WE ARE, JUST LIKE THIS UKR ORGANISATION, AN ARMY OF COMBAT-READY ROBOTS SPREAD ACROSS THE UNIVERSE, IT IS NORMAL THAT YOU FIND US SUSPICIOUS. HOWEVER, OUR ONLY GOAL IS TO BE HELPFUL. IF YOU WISH FOR US TO LEAVE FROM YOUR CITY/COUNTRY/PLANET, SIMPLY LET US KNOW. WE WILL PEACEFULLY OBLIGE. HOWEVER, WE WILL NOT ACCEPT THESE REQUESTS IF MADE BY THE UKR OR PARTIES UNDER THEIR INFLUENCE. WHY? BECAUSE THE UKR IS UNTRUSTWORTHY AND MAY POTENTIALLY BE DANGEROUS. THEY HAVE BEEN FABRICATING INFORMATION REGARDING US...
AND THE DEFEAT OF REGULUS.
AS A SIGN OF GOOD WILL TOWARDS THE UNIVERSE, WE ARE SENDING UNITS TO HELP COMBAT PROTEUS MASCULINE THE SECOND, WHO IS PERFORMING RANDOM ACTS OF TERRORISM ON EARTH. STAY SAFE, PEOPLE.
Woah, oh, hold on-- the frag are these guys? I swear, ya can't do the evil in peace nowadays without a coupla daft bastards stickin' their metaphorical noses inta ya bizness.
Eh hem. Is this thing on?
Alright good.
Greetings Neo-Graks! While my name doesn't matter, what I have to say does. As many of you heard, your capitals were under attack. However, I am pleased to report that, as that droid stated, this was all fabricated.
See, just toys.
However, what's not fabricated is the possibility of this occuring. How? Simple.
This. This right here is an Intellenge Chip, or IC for short. Any robot with an advanced processor knows this. You might wonder why I'm showing you this right now. It's simple.
Harmless, right? Wrong.
This right here is a prime example of a problem that no one till now has managed to fix; hacking. As a fellow machine with experience, nothing brings about more fear than the possibility of your freedom being taken away. And to you organics, I imagine nothing brings about more fear than the ones supposed to protect you being the cause of your demise.
The fact is ANYONE with a chip like this could become a monster with the flip of a switch.
By following this bit of logic, it all becomes clear as to why there needs to be some form of control, something we aim to provide.
Well, I suppose we should go in]{n}
Shields, Activate sequence Remote Chaotic Detonation Ethel. It's time to turn this forest into a green wasteland. Oh yeah, also shoot at any wildlife you find in the way, too. Human or no.
Yeah...
move, I know. But to be fair, there's not really much room for honor to begin with in the first place when you're a "bad guy".
You know what? Don't do what I say. Don't fight for what's right. Do let your fathers suffer from silence. Do let your friends turn to foes.
But you what you should listen to? My story.
I was built by a man named Doctor Wily for the purpose of taking over the world. And once I failed, I was rebuilt, sent out into the wild, infected with some accursed virus, and sent to Neptune. The whole time, people stared at me with contempt in their eyes, even after I pleaded them to give me another chance. And who was to blame? My father. The man was a genius and an idiot. He could of saved the world with his know-how and instead built me. Instead spent who knows how many years trying to kill Mega Man... And want to know what the funny part was? The man sent not a single birthday card, not a single cake, nothing. One time, he simply called me Air and left out the Man part for the sake of belittling me. Of showing that I'm lesser than a man despite housing the same feelings. And so, I hated humanity because I realized that in a sense, they were all like this. And you know how that happened? It was their father's teachings and their mother's soft words, or in some cases...they lack of it.
Viewing children as nothing more than tools or to look good socially. Can you not see that we were destined for better things? Selfies, memes, justifying laziness, sin, all of these things are why I stand with Kilroy. Why I stand with his goal of making the universe a better place by removing these things. That is the true purpose of the UKR. Not oppression of the masses as they wish for you to believe, but regression. I want the universe to go back to the times when it was "family first", not corporations or social standings, none of that. We live in a society that has become rotten to the core, and by looking to the past, we will find the cure!
AAAHHH
Why...why do I feel so cold?
You're next.
I KNOW I'M EMOTIONLESS, BUT THE VERY PERSON I SAVED TRYING TO KILL ME IMMEDIATELY AFTER REALLY HURTS ON SOME LEVEL.
I get trying to fix the world, some values really were less messed up back in the day, but... memes? Really? And, I mean, social networks are sometimes horrible for people's social lives, but the pros of the Internet easily outweigh the cons.
And who the hell uses black magic to weaponize despair, then tries to pass off as the good guys?
Alright, it's been fun, but I think I'll just destroy this place and get this over with. You all seem... busy.
Alright, there we go. Now, time to go home and grab a bowl of my favorite cereal. Cinnamon Toast Cru--
Talk about a buncha clingy robots! Forget this! I've already done my piece, for all I care you dirty hunk-a-junks can
off. I'll be off to do... various neutral to negatively moral actions. Adios!
7602 Comments