Rather than wield it, Masked Man levitates the sword out of it's slot, storing it for later use.

...

My crazed Hulksona splits me into two entities, one me and one asshole. And on top of that, I have to deal with partnering up with the face-stealing prick who I know attacked me.

John Cena turns to Princess Zelda.

Sorry for the trouble, ma'am.
I... you guys should probably still go while I'm processing this.
I agree.
It's decided, then. Off to defeat the evil known as Vaati.
Yeah... pay him a beating for every life he's ruined.

Everyone gathers together, promptly teleporting away.

I'm damn pissed. Which is why I know I'm going to enjoy what comes next.

---

The figure raises his arms in attempt to block a slash... only to soon realize it's a feint, being dealt a slicing blow to his back!

Rrgh!.... Cute.

Jet Black tries gaining distance, moving backwards... but not fast enough to avoid a kick in the stomach.

...!

Jet is sent falling through space.

As if I'm done with you yet!

The figure flies after him.

...Hnn!

Somari suddenly draws back, turning and vibrating the broken rib into Shake King's brain!

Three. Vibrating takes a lot of energy. Need to be wise. Frugal.

Somari drops down, looking at everyone behind him.

...

They can't see me-- but I can see them. Their slowed expressions. Their lips moving in slow motion...

He looks closer at Tailigee and Yoshles.

...The pain. The bitter helplessness of playing a game that isn't yours.

Somari looks forward again, but--

AAAAAAAAAGH!
!

Somari slides under a furious Shake King, repaying his attempted ambush with a hundred consecutive G-Switches to the back of the head!

The feeling of your entire life, your journeys, your actions being boiled down to a painful seven letters.

He grabs the Shake King's helmet horns, before leaping high into the air.

AAAAAAAAAA!!!!

I'm starting to think it's because of my baggage I'm still standing right now.

---

Somari begins spinning the grabbed Shake King around without hesitation, the both of them turning into a spinning blur.

"Strongest", huh?

Somari suddenly throws the Shake King down back at the Earth.

So long,-a-Shake King.

Let's see what happens when the unstoppable object meets the immovable force.

Somari hurls himself back at the planet in ball form.

It's the same thing.

Somari ragdolls Shake King's face across the surface of the area, using his speed to multiply the intensity of the heat even further.

HRHAGHJAGAAAAHH!

Shake King's bellows begin to sound like white noise to me. It's the same old babble. He yells his piece, but it's all the same thing. Talking without actually ever saying anything.

Somari finally pulls Shake King's charred body away, before stuffing--

---

Where a hole was dug from Somari and Shake King's trip, a beacon of lava blasts through, lifting Somari out, and leaving him face down on the ground.

My body's getting slow to react. The adrenaline rush is fading, and the pain is slowly seeping in.
Two down.

Somari instantly jumps back up, dancing around the thirteen Shake King, weaving through Shake Beams with enough precision to get one of them to punch the other!

Urgh!!
Ah! I didn't mean to--

Somari rushes towards the two, bashing their heads together at relativistic pace!

But boy, does dishing out the pain feels great, though.

...

Backflipping away from more Shake Orbs, Somari runs across the globe before hitting each of the other Shake King responsible from behind with several hundred Homing Attacks!

And not just because of the scumbag on the receiving end.

Somari, while vibrating his left arm, springs off one of the Shake King, leaping through and sticking it through another's chest!

I'm marooned on a universe where my entire being has been evaluated as a "bootleg". Up until now, me and my pals have done nothing short of either being brutalized or cleaning up messes that aren't ours.

Somari bashes the same Shake King over the head tens of thousands of times with his own broken rib!

It's the same thing! IT'S THE SAME THING!

. . .

---

WAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH---

Somari is suddenly slammed onto the ground, and is then immediately sprung back into the air from the sheer force of the attack, before finally catching himself on his feet.

...

Somari races around the world a couple of times, before kicking one of the Shake King currently in the air, before vanishing and reappearing on top of another, shoving him under the ground!

---

Shake King is rapidly buried more and more into the scorching earth beneath him from the force of Somari's attack. He then feels two legs dig into his spine.

Afraid? Does this-a-look like what someone driven by-a-fear would do?
RELEASE ME THIS INSTANT!

Shake King attempts to zap Somari with an electric shock, but he endures it, vibrating through bursts of assaults.

You-a-treat yourself like a victim. Use-a-your vendetta as a reason to make others suffer.
You're-a-nothing but a sad, sad, man who is a slave of his-a-own past. A simple facet of-a-what was. And I don't have time for any of it.

Somari bolts through, zipping through the rest of the Earth's mantle and shoving Shake King's face into it's core.

WAKA-WAKA (I dunno! We don't even have the numbers advantage on him anymore!)
Unless...

Everyone slowly begins to look at Wario.

Eh? What are you dorks lookin' at?
With Wario-Man, this would be over in an instant.
What's a Wario-Man.

Wario pokes Ryoga in the chest.

Only the greatest, most powerful superhero transformation in the universe!...
...But...N--no! We don't need Wario-Man to win! I don't even need Wario-Man to win!
The last time Wario went toe to toe with Shake King, he broke his arm and legs! Wario says one thing... but his actions prove another!

Wario flicks Waluigi over the head.

Ow!
Shaddup already! I'll have you know I pack a heck of a punch on my own!...
Hold on. Say that again?
I... pack a heck of a punch. On my own.
Pack a punch... I think I've figured something--
Wait a minute, bandana boy! What'd you just say?
Repeat what? You mean the part about packing a pun--
AHA! That's it! Wario has found a way to win!

Wario looks down on his right fist, raising it into the air.

And it's all riding on this.

!?

After being grabbed by the arm by one of the Shake King, Somari again phases out of the way.... And into an uppercut from another one of them!?

!?!?!?!?

Somari is sent flying from the power of the uppercut, but recovers in enough time to stick a landing. Before he has the time to think, though...

Are you afraid? Somari the Adventurer?

Somari instictively throws a punch behind him, hitting Shake King in the gut, but also taking long enough for two burly arms to appear under the ground, dragging Somari down until he is neck-deep inside.

Huh!?

After Somari is then struck with an electrical shock, immediately the first Shake King retaliates, kicking Somari in the head!

Your speed is immense... But your movements are far too linear to use it to it's fullest.

Slowly, the statues begin to break, restoring all seven of them back to normal. One by one, they begin to come alive. The one among them opens her eyes.

Link, thank you for--

...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...

......Who the hell?
Not to play Debbie Downer or anything, but the psycho who absorbed all of your essence also ate your little boyfriend.
...All is not lost. For our Hero from Hyrule is not the only savior in the land.
...Yeah. Whatever Dibs on the sword.

The masked man tries to move, but Prototype gets in the way.

And why are we in such a hurry to claim it?
...Because if there's anyone who's suffered under that prick, it's me. face it, Agent Edge. You're outta luck.
....Yeah. Whatever you say.... Mr. Masked Man.
This isn't how-- ...who even are you people!?
He then leaps ahead, right next to sword, to see...

...How long has that... thing been there?

@ch4s3man :

Walter steps up. he extends his arms towards the statues.

Restore the Maidens, yadda yadda yadda. Whatever.

He then concentrates ahead of him. immediately feint lights inside of Walter and the statues begin to glow.

Hope.
Sadness.
Rage.
Hatred.
Joy.
Pleasure.
Wishes.

(Am I supposed to know what's going on?)
I'll break it down.

---

---

Are you trying to tell us we're just crappier humans?
Only if that's what you got out of it. I don't know about you, but I wouldn't have myself be any other way than I am now.

These are the things that bind all lifeforms together. Power, formed through Balance. Balance, formed through Harmony. Harmony, formed through Emotions.
Just fucking turn back into normal people already, we don't have all day.

The bright light begins to glow further, encompassing the entire room. Soul leaps out of a Rift Sphere.

I don't even think I wanna know what's going on here.

Jet Black seems to have avoided the detonation in time.

Ngh... with such an obvious attack... what was he planning to gain?
An empty battlefield.

Jet receives a hard blow do the head, sending him falling through space! The mysterious individual promptly flies over in puruit.

Aaaaah!
(My body won't respond to my commands... is that a side effect of making contact with him, or is he just that strong?

Jet throws his sword at the figure, which it flies past almost immediately.

Hmmph! What do you hope to gain form discarding your weapon?
N-not discarding...

Suddenly, Jet teleports right next to the sword, using it to slice at the figure from behind, who puts up his arms in an attempt to block the sword's contact!

---

Soul Curve (Shadow/Swift)- Jet Black automatically teleports to the location of his blade, or vice-versa.

Like I said. I don't have time for games.

Suddenly, the figure feels himself being slashed from behind.

Pest!

Instantly he turns to where his backside was and releases a powerful Energy Stream... without any remains seen from the fallout.

I'm the pest? Wasn't it you who sucker-punched me?
Hnn--! Don't compare me with your cowardly tactics!

He feels the same thing happen from the back of his left leg. He kicks the nearest asteroid, detonating it into pieces, but no sign of Jet is anywhere to be seen.

Right. Because there's nothing cowardly about ambushing anyone out of anywhere.
Rrrrrghh...!

Slowly but surely, the figure is consecutively slashed away at by attacks that while not piercing increasingly irritate the unidentified individual.

That's the difference between you and me.... I don't use some flawed code of honor to mask my pride. I'm willing to do whatever it takes to win... even if it means chipping you down piece by piece.

To hell with this!

The figure releases an explosion that encompasses the entire area.

After punching a final sixty-two thousand Swirl Strikes at the Shake King, Somari leaps into the flaming tornado, blitzing through, attacking each them simultaneously with impossibly quick Spin Dashes, all the while laying in extreme G-Switches into them!

Hmnnn!!

Before Somari can finish, though... something latches onto his arm.

!?

...I see. Well, you'll have to excuse me, then. Because I don't have time for nonsense.
Then you'll have to make it!

The figure picks up an asteroid, chucking it at Jet Black, who leaps forward and slashes it in half using his Overshadow, then following up with a Danger Breach!

Weak!

The figure dashes through the Danger Breaches, taking them head-on, but notably not without physically slowing down.

Come get some.
...You have no idea how in over your head you are.

Jet leaps off the asteroid he is own narrowly long enough to avoid a punch from the figure, blowing the space rock up. Jumping from asteroid to asteroid, he takes time to study the situation.

(He's not wearing a helmet or a mask, it's safe to say he's not human. Or perhaps he is, seeing as space is child's play to some people.)
What's the matter? Can't back up any of that big talk of yours?

The figure flies through the asteroids, all of which blow up upon impact. After a few seconds of flight, he stops.

.....You can't fool me. I know you're around here somewhere.
...

Jet, hiding behind one of the space rock, waits for an opportunity to make his next move.

Coward. Whatever you're planning... It won't be enough.

---

Danger Breach (Shadow/Space)- Jet slashes the air, tearing through space and releasing a dark batch of energy beams that chip away at the user. Cannot be dodged, and quadruples in damage for every successful contact made.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

the figure tackles Jet Black, diving through countless asteroids at alarming speed!!

Drgh... ENOUGH!

Jet slashes at the anonymous individual, who promptly ducks, creating a distance between them. Jet promptly lands on a piece of space rock.

...Huh. So he wasn't bluffing. Saves me the trouble of having to find him, too.
"He" who? And for that matter, what's your business with me? What reason do you have to assault me without rhyme nor... without rhyme?

The unannounced individual folds his arms.

Rest assured. I'm not here for any other reason than that I'd get a challenge.

He points to himself.

There's only one way you're gonna get any information other than that...
...

GRAAAAAHHHHH!

The Shake King charge at Somari simultaneously, who quickly dashes to the side, dodging Shake Beams and punches from each of them before circling around them, accelerating to the point where they're surrounded by a flaming whirlwhind, which amplifies the thousands of Swirl Strike Somari throws at each of them from outside of it!

Everyone else just looks on in pure, silent shock at the single defeated Shake King.

...No way... he took one of them out?
Wahahahahah! Looks like that Somari's a lot stronger than you, eh?
Shut up!!
eight, nine, ten, eleven twelve, thirteen... Would it be a stretch for him to do the same thing fourteen times?
Yes.

Somari, still regathering himself, is bashed from a sneak attack from one of the Shake Kings, and then thrown into the air, to which another one gives an electrifying chop to the back of his head, sending him barreling back down!

Oof!

Flopping down on the ground, Somari rolls aside just in the nick of time to avoid being smothered from a double stomp courtesy of a Shake King's legs, but is then kicked from behind, again putting him face-first onto the ground!

The dust begins to settle. As the debris fade, the presence of a large crater spanning miles is made apparent. Inside of it, however...

...

A Shake King is laid down, a large hole encompassing the entirety of his would-be face. Next to him is Somari, down on one knee and the both of his hands, seemingly slightly worn.

Ngh....

All the Shake King, which float above Somari and the body next to him, are shocked to see one of their counterparts beaten!

!!!!!

Shadwari teleports, repeatedly dodging strikes from Marshadow, promptly afterwards kicking him away, then proceeding to shove a energized lance-like construct into Cannoli's armor!

Agh! Do you have any idea how expensive this is?
No. And I don't care, either.

Shadwari picks the Mad Hatter up and chucks it at Sciencestein. Syrup turns to Genie.

I wish you were powerful enough to put this in his place!
Granted.

The Genie immediately steps up, racing towards Shadwari, who notices just in time to duck a punch, sliding under the Genie to counter with Spin Attack... but is grabbed mid-spin, before being sent staggering backwards from a powerful hook!

Ngh!

Shadwari manages to stick a landing, shrugging off Genie's last attack.

Hah! How's that?
... (Fighting Shake King took up too much of my energy. I can't tap into Chaos Control or I'll run out of power.)
...I've taken stronger attack in my sleep. You'll have to do far better if you and your little friends want a shot at getting past me.
...