@Malware : He can't

...Huh, all this talk about Beta Satan “cheating” and “using attacks against us” and I’m only now (as of writing this) finding out that it’s all only because I accidentally placed down Magolor instead of Betan on his own attack. Whoops.

Also, I will say for the record that Agony Blaster (and I suppose Agony Charge’s effect in this case) will be similar to moves like Fire Chaser where it’s stronger the higher the attack stat is than the user’s own stat. (of which Betan's is 2, so it would gain no boosts; I will, however, admit I may have forgotten at times when it wasn’t. I’m too lazy and cannot be bothered to look back and correct this, though I will try to remember it in the future.)

Finally, thank you, Lush, for reminding me of Magolor’s own defense lowering capabilities. I won’t be editing the post (too lazy lol), but I will gladly say that Betan’s Defense is officially at 2. Technically it should be 1, and technically at times it should’ve been at 0, since I subtract by 1/5ths. But now that I think about it, it isn’t quite ideal to subtract a 5th every debuff for 5 debuffs, so that’s something I'll have to remedy next time he gains a multiplier... which, it might not be long from now.

AGONY JAKE unleashes AGONY CHARGE!
All allies are empowered!

Alice slashes Beta Satan with Sword Slash!
Agony Monster shoots Beta Satan with AGONY SHOT!Agony Monster dissolves...

Calx charges his buster...

Darkened Chord conserves his energy...

Admiral Brickell deploys the Mega Mine on Beta Satan!
...Ok, ow. Isn’t that something you should’ve nerfed, or make it miss on purpose?

Eh, I’m going to let it slide since A. I want others to have a chance, B. I’m going to change how much stat debuffs take from a stat after this anyways, and C. We have one last week of this left, anyways, might as well go wild and let loose.

...You know what? That is a fair point.
A very fair point indeed...

Magolor sparks a Revolution Flame against Beta Satan!
Doc Elite conserves his energy...

Valkyrie Woman’s blade shines with power...
Valkyrie Woman slashes Beta Satan with Valkyrie Blade!
Sodoma shoots Beta Satan with Balance Rays!
Best Man is recovering...
LEVEL UP!
...He’ll gain stuff when I talk to idk later; I’ve been spending most of today doing anything but this (got myself distracted)

Ghost of Stache tries PK Thunder y!
Scrap Man conserves his energy...

Shieldy fires Buster Shots at Beta Satan!
Punch Man fires a Buster Shot at Beta Satan!

@RotomSlashBlast : Actually, looking at it now, that's a mistake on my part.

But since it's like that, I'm going to raise the cost up some.

Mage Man sits himself down at the table.

Morning, companions. What is on today's agenda? Perhaps we should take upon the mission we (minus one) were given by that Cafe mecha from the other day?

Referring back to the 8th post of the original thread's 2nd page, to clarify to those not in-the-know (ch4s3).

Shieldy prepares an Energizing Parry!

Hey, guess who’s unstunned again!
I am also gonna stall a bit to gain some WE, and I still have one other move that I haven’t used yet, so...

Betan pulls out a gatling gun.

There is no punchline. Get shot.
Punch Man takes 3 Damage!
Another hit! 3 Damage!
And another! 3 Damage!
AGONY JAKE blasts Beta Satan with AGONY BLASTER!
Alice conserves her energy...

Calx blasts Beta Satan with Level Buster!
Darkened Chord burrows into Beta Satan with Hadal Claw!
Doc Elite drains Beta Satan with AGONY DRAIN!Doc Elite recovers 4 HP!

Valkyrie Woman slashes Beta Satan with Valkyrie Blade!
Admiral Brickell’s ship charges something...

Agony Monster fires an AGONY SHOT at Beta Satan!
Magolor sparks a Revolution Flame against Beta Satan!
Sodoma defenses herself with Cyclone Shield!
Sodoma’s Defense is raised by 2 stages!

Best Man- *WINDOWS XP SOUND*Best Man is disabled!

Ghost of Stache fires a Buster Shot at Beta Satan!
Scrap Man blasts Beta Satan with Wily Buster!
Punch Man back-knuckles Beta Satan with Inverted PunchPunch Man's Speed is lowered by 1 stage!

AGONY JAKE blasts Anti-Omni Remnant Fl with AGONY BLASTER!Super effective!
Valkyrie Woman takes 40 Damage!

Alice curses Beta Satan with Necro Blade!
Calx charges his buster...

Darkened Chord burrows into Beta Satan with Hadal Claw!
Agony Monster fires an AGONY SHOT at Anti-Omni Remnant Fl!
Admiral Brickell fires a Buster Shot at Anti-Omni Remnant Fl!
Doc Elite unleashes Doc Essence!
All allies’ Attack is raised!

Valkyrie Woman’s blade shines with a brilliant power...
Valkyrie Woman slashes Beta Satan with Valkyrie Blade!
(Some real hard-hitters in this bunch...)
(Maybe I can do something about that.)

Magolor fires a Space Shot at Anti-Omni Remnant Fl!
Sodoma shoots Beta Satan with Balance Rays!
Best Man {setweaponname == Coolpowerfulattack}s Beta Satan!
Ghost of Stache tries PK Thunder y!
Scrap Man charges his buster...

Shieldy smashes Anti-Omni Remnant Fl with Disempowering Deck!
Punch Man punches Anti-Omni Remnant Fl with Punch Punch!
Right. Let’s see who dies THIS time.
Scrap Man takes 40 Damage!
The attack missed Sodoma...
Shieldy takes an ineffective 3 Damage!
The attack missed Best Man...
The attack missed Darkened Chord...
The attack missed Ghost of Stache...
Doc Elite takes an ineffective 8 Damage!
The attack missed Punch Man...
The attack missed Valkyrie Woman...
The attack missed Admiral Brickell...
The attack missed Calx...
The attack missed Magolor...
The attack missed AGONY JAKE...
Agony Monster takes 20 Damage!
The attack missed Alice...

...Why am I not surprised.

MI!Beta watches as Discorded Beta is punching the wall of an abandoned building.

Not enough. Hit it harder. HARDER.

---

Later, Discorded Beta is carrying MI!Beta on his back... hardly speaking.

You're being too slow. Pick up the pace!
But you're very heavy... And much taller than me...
_Maybe it wouldn't be a problem if you weren't so weak. Now, keep going!

---

Later again, MI!Beta throws a punch at Discorded Beta, who recoils from the impact.

You're not blocking. You need to BLOCK.
You're punching faster than I can react!
The entire point is faster reflexes. If you don't want to get hit, then react faster.

---

And again, Discorded Beta shoots an object straight in the middle.

Ha, eat THAT! A perfect shot!
We're robots, dumb, of COURSE it'd be a perfect shot. You were supposed to BLOW IT UP.
Oh. Uh, okay, just...

Discorded Beta charges his buster and destroys the object with a fully charged shot.

...Did it seriously take you that much power to destroy that thing?
SERIOUSLY!?

---

And once again, MI!Beta waits in one spot as Discorded Beta runs up to him.

Did it really take you this long to do ONE lap?
Well, it's not like I knew my way around, let alone know this place well enough to take a lap around it.
No excuses. Now, go again.

---

And once more for good measure, Discorded Beta is once again knocked down to the ground.

That was even worse than last time. Surely you don't intend to die here, do you?
Maybe if you weren't such an a-

MI!Beta stomps on Discorded Beta's back.

GAH!
Care to repeat that, you weak little worm?
Nothing, I said nothing!

MI!Beta scoffs as he takes his foot off of him.

We will rest. When I awaken, we will be doing this again and again, until you're not this much of a pathetic WHELP.

MI!Beta goes to lay down and go into Sleep Mode. Discorded Beta manages to roll over and stare at him for a moment.

...

@RotomSlashBlast : Not randomized, it's always 5; I just forgot. Whoops.

Shieldy prepares an Energizing Parry...

Alice tries to scorch Beta Satan in Flames of Ruin!
AGONY JAKE blasts Beta Satan with AGONY BLASTER!
Calx conserves his energy...

Darkened Chord burrows into Beta Satan with Hadal Claw!
Agony Monster fires an AGONY SHOT at Beta Satan!
Sodoma shoots at Beta Satan with a Balance Ray!
Magolor sparks a Revolution Flame against Beta Satan!
Valkyrie Woman slashes Beta Satan with Valkyrie Blade!
Admiral Brickell provides her Naval Tactics!
Admiral Brickell’s stats are boosted by 1 stage!
Valkyrie Woman’s stats are boosted by 1 stage!
Doc Elite’s stats are boosted by 1 stage!

Doc Elite builds up power...

Best Man {setweaponname == Coolpowerfulattack}s Beta Satan!
Punch Man punches Beta Satan with Punch Punch!
Ghost of Stache fires a Buster Shot at Beta Satan!
Scrap Man blasts Beta Satan with Wily Buster!
How about we bring another friend in here to join in on the fun, hm?

...

Thank you, but your chances of winning are in another... No, that’s dumb. Whatever, I’ll come up with something later.

(What buster? He’s not even- Bah, whatever.)

Mage Man just picks a bed that wasn't chosen yet and meditates on it.

Oh, look at that. I’m not stunned anymore, too. (Unless Beta Shadow is a dumb and forgot again,) might as well take a chance to show this move off.
The attack missed!

...Well, you saw it, anyway. Go look in the Character Sheet to see what it does (if Beta Shadow doesn’t forget like an idiot), because I’m probably not going to be using it much.

Alice tries to scorch Beta Satan in Flames of Ruin!
AGONY JAKE uses AGONY CREATION!
Agony Monster is created!

Calx tries to trap Beta Satan in a Scrap Coffin!
Darkened Chord conserves his energy...

Agony Monster uses AGONY SHOT!
Sodoma defenses Admiral Brickell with Cyclone Shield!
Admiral Brickell’s Defense is raised by 2 Stages!

Doc Elite conserves his energy...

Best Man {setweaponname == Coolpowerfulattack;}s Beta Satan
Magolor sparks a Revolution Flame against Beta Satan!
Admiral Brickell provides her Naval Tactics!
Admiral Brickell’s stats are boosted by 1 stage!
Magolor’s stats are boosted by 1 stage!
Valkyrie Woman’s stats are boosted by 1 stage!

Valkyrie Woman’s blade shines with power!
Valkyrie Woman slashes Beta Satan with Valkyrie Blade!
Ghost of Stache fires a Buster Shot at Beta Satan!
The Psychonic Link is severed!

Punch Man BSOD’s Beta Satan with Bluescreen Punch!Punch Man recovers his WE!

Scrap Man charges his buster...
Scrap Man’s Attack is raised by 1 stage!

Shieldy generates an Absorbing Defensive!
Shieldy’s Defense is raised by 1 Stage!

...Get up.

MI!Beta forcibly awakens Discorded Beta.

Wh... Oh. Right. Right. We were gonna find that Teleporter, right?
...That was the plan. But while I was in Sleep Mode, I've come to a realization.
Is it that we're both equal as individuals and that you shouldn't be pushing me around like I'm a servant?
Don't get your hopes up, runt.

MI!Beta then turns his back towards Discorded Beta, taking a few steps away from him.

The Void is a dangerous place. Only those with great strength- both physically and mentally- can survive out here. If you falter for even a moment, it will lead you to your demise... And even THAT would be merciful.

MI!Beta then turns to Discorded Beta.

...Fight me.
H-huh!?
If you can get me to fight at least somewhat seriously, it'll be proof enough that you can handle whatever lies in store. I'm not going to protect you like some defenseless baby. If you want to survive, you need to be able to defend yourself.
(...I mean, I suppose I was able to fight off that Prism guy*.)
(Yeah... And maybe I could earn Commander Beta's respect! I can do this!)
[ Alright, tough guy! If it's a fight you want, it's a fight you'll ge

---

A mere "three minutes" later, Discorded Beta is lying face-first on the ground.

...Pathetic, as I have predicted. Looks like I'll have to whip you into shape, or you'll NEVER make it out there.
...mmmph.

---

*ERROR: Context of reference cannot be found

@Malware : No. It isn't.

Matter of fact, I went 2 turns over the period of which it was supposed to stay in before it was meant to fade away because I miscounted.

Calx conserves his energy...

Alice is recovering...
LEVEL UP!
+80 HP
+8 WE
+4 Attack
+4 Defense
+4 Speed
Learned Inferno of Ruin

Darkened Chord fires Buster Shots at Beta Satan!
Sodoma is recovering...
LEVEL UP!
+20 HP
+2 WE
+8 Defense
Learned Cyclone Shield

Doc Elite drains from Beta Satan with AGONY DRAIN!
Admiral Brickell uses Buster Charge!
Admiral Brickell recovers her WE!

Magolor sparks a Revolution Flame against Beta Satan!
Valkyrie Woman uses Buster Charge!
Valkyrie Woman recovers her WE!

AGONY JAKE is recovering...
LEVEL UP!
+120 HP
+12 WE
+6 Attack
+6 Defense
+6 Speed

Best Man is recovering...
LEVEL UP!
+20 WE
+10 Attack
Learned {setfunctionname == Selfrepairprotocol}

Ghost of Stache tries PK Thunder y!
Punch Man back-knuckles Beta Satan with Inverted Punch!
Scrap Man conserves his energy...

Shieldy generates Absorbing Defensive!
Shieldy’s Defense is raised by 2 stages!

Nice Weapon Energy. Mind if I have it?
Punch Man loses 19 WE!

@Brash Buster : Oh, yeah. Uh, hang on...

...Right, ok. That would be 98 Damage in total... I think.

Calx blasts Beta Satan with Level Buster!
Darkened Chord burrows into Beta Satan with Hadal Claw!
Alice fires Buster Shots at Beta Satan!
Agony Monster fires an AGONY SHOT at Beta Satan!
Sodoma blasts Beta Satan with Prosper Burst!
Doc Elite unleashes Doc Essence!
All allies’ Attack stat is raised!

AGONY JAKE conserves his energy...

Admiral Brickel deploys the Mega Mine!
You know, despite all the bull, I’d actually like to thank you all for the light exercise. But perhaps now it’s time for me to use 1% of my power.

Magolor fires a Space Shot at Beta Satan!
Best Man {setweaponname == Refill}s Beta Satan!
Valkyrie Woman pincushions Beta Satan with Needle Cannon!
Ghost of Stache fires a Buster Shot at Beta Satan!
PK Starstorm Ω rains down!
Punch Man BSOD’s Beta Satan with Bluescreen Punch!
Scrap Man fires Buster Shots at Beta Satan!
Shieldy generates an Absorbing Defensive!
Valkyrie Woman’s Defense is boosted by 2 stages!
The attack missed Scrap Man!
Sodoma takes 400 Damage!
Sodoma is disabled!
The attack missed Shieldy...
Best Man takes 1800 Damage!
Best Man is disabled!
Guard Man takes 3600 Damage!
Guard Man is disabled!
The attack missed Darkened Chord...
The attack missed Ghost of Stache...
The attack missed Doc Elite...
The attack missed Punch Man...
The attack missed Valkyrie Woman...
The attack missed Admiral Brickell...
The attack missed Calx...
The attack missed Magolor...
AGONY JAKE takes 720 Damage!
AGONY JAKE is disabled!
Alice takes 720 Damage!
Alice is disabled!

Oh yeah, I remembered Agonizing Pain was a thing.

Under calculations (15 x 7, multiplied by x2 because of Betan’s 1 defense at the time over the course of 2 rounds), that would be a culminating total of 210 Damage.

Calx charges his buster...

Alice conserves her energy...

Darkened Chord burrows into Beta Satan with Hadal Claw!
...I’m honestly not surprised we’ve reached this point again. Annoyed? Yes. But that doesn’t make it any less par for the course at this point.

Agony Monster fires an AGONY SHOT at Beta Satan!
Sodoma shoots at Beta Satan with Balance Ray!
Doc Elite builds up power...

Admiral Brickell’s ship charges something...

Magolor sparks a Revolution Flame against Beta Satan!
AGONY JAKE blasts Beta Satan with AGONY BLASTER!
Best Man is interrupted by Guard Man’s Taunt!
Guard Man is spawned!

Valkyrie Woman slashes Beta Satan with Valkyrie Blade!
Ghost of Stache fires a Buster Shot at Beta Satan!
Punch Man back-knuckles Beta Satan with Inverted Punch!
...Mhm.
Just give me Flame Shot, I don’t even care anymore.

Scrap Man fires MAKESHIFT BUSTER at Beta Satan!
Shieldy smashes Beta Satan with Disempowering Deck!
Well, not what I was after in a defense-raising move, but that’s fine by me. Works well enough for a temporary solution.

Mage Man places his piece of the room's cost on the table.

...You know, I was going to make a speech on how meaningless your existences are, but watching you lot bicker amongst yourselves is infinitely more entertaining.

Good thing, too, because nobody cares.

Beta Satan conserves his energy...

Alice sacrifices 8 HP!
Alice slashes at Beta Satan with her Necro Blade!
Calx tries to trap Beta Satan in a Scrap Coffin!
Darkened Chord burrows into Beta Satan with Hadal Claw!
(Well, may as well go through with my promise.)
(Or...)

Best Man {setweaponname == Coolpowerfulattack2;}s!
Agony Monster fires an AGONY SHOT at Beta Satan!
Doc Elite unleashes a Dark Vaporize at Beta Satan!

Sodoma shoots at Beta Satan with Balance Rays!
Admiral Brickell fires an Explode Shot at Beta Satan
Magolor fires a Space Shot at Beta Satan!
AGONY JAKE blasts at Beta Satan with AGONY BLASTER!
(, already!? Urgh, I have to do something about that one defense.)

Valkyrie Woman’s blade shines with a brilliant power!
Valkyrie Woman slashes at Beta Satan with her Valkyrie Blade!
Ghost of Stache fires a Buster Shot at Beta Satan!
Punch Man punches Beta Satan with Punch Punch!
Wh- This thread’s balance would be absolute dog if it existed!
*Sigh* I’ll take a Defense-boosting move and an aspirin.

Scrap Man shreds Beta Satan with SILENT STEEL!
Shieldy smashes Beta Satan with Disempowering Deck!